You don’t need to know

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up… and I don’t even know what I like to do. I’m 24. I don’t need it all figured out right now but these last few months have made me really dive into myself. If you would have talked to me 8 months to over a year ago I would not have had the mindset I do now. I was drowning in what I “should” be doing by now.

I’ve been digging into all of my fears and what I REALLY worry about. How I really feel. I’ve always covered that Up buried things a little deeper and let things come to the surface a little at a time. I’ve come to realize that everything I’ve stored away is now like tangled up mess of jewelry being pulled out of travel case that wasn’t stored away properly.

I want to fall in love with life. I don’t much care for “what I want to be” as in a profession. I’m a mom, wife, sister, daughter… that’s enough for me. I want to be happy and in love with all the mundane things we do in a day. There is simplicity and life in it all.

Today was the day I realized that is what I need. Now I don’t know how to achieve that and is my next step. But I want this season to be the season my life changes.

I need to accept failure and embrace it because it’s not a bad thing, it’s growth. I need to shift my mind. I’ve been trapped in a place where I let the interest and aspirations of others in my life control what I did. I didn’t make decisions for myself. I just did because I “have” to. I still do things because I know that it will make my people happy. I did things because I didn’t care what I wanted I just didn’t want to create conflict so I went along with it. That ended me up in a handful of odd situations that my anxiety got me out of. Not a good way out… Putting me in the position of being the toxic person. I hurt people and I hurt myself.

I want to fall in love with life. To see the innocence of the world the way children do. To be able to trust how I’m feeling and not to second guess because no matter which way it goes you don’t have to apologize for it. You’re valid. Everything YOU are experiencing is yours tailored for you in this life. You’ll only have to apologize to yourself for not embracing your love for things sooner, it’s holding you back.

I want to love life and not be suffocated by the feeling that I have to explain myself no matter what I do or what choices I make.

What brings you peace

This is something that has always giving me a trouble I’ve never been able to come up with a legitimate list of things that bring me peace. Over the last few years I was able to grow into my own person, however not there yet and don’t exactly know yet who I am as a person. I have been able to find peace in the little things. Those small details that fill me up.

Finally I’m able to come up with a list and I’d like to revisit the topic every few weeks or so and see what else I can add to it. I don’t know that anyone will understand how much happiness this brings me to be able to put this this together. I always got so frustrated because it was hard for me to look for happy things.

sit on my front porch with my fresh hot coffee and watch the morning sun.

I love to watch the leaves turn colors and happily break away from the tree and happily fall to the ground.

Watching the seeds break ground because they are growing into something new.

Watching coffee bubble when you first pour it into a cup.

Coffee steaming in a cool morning air.

Watching your cream swirl into your coffee when you first pour it mixing cool and hot to the perfect temperature.

The first fluffy snowflakes floating around in the sky like they’re just floating not actually falling.

Feeling a change of heart because you’re seeing things through your child’s eyes in the most innocent forms of life.

Hearing the perfect song for the background in your present moment.

When your mascara doesn’t clump and goes on smooth and separating all your lashes !!

Slow chilly mornings relaxing and smoking with a hot cup of coffee with the husband

Relaxed cuddly mornings with the kids.

Energetic productive days that leave you feeling a sense of fulfilling accomplishment

Warm sunbeams streaming through the window in the cold months

Healthy Weeknight Meals

Cooking can sometimes feel like a chore at the end of a busy day. It’s often tempting to throw a ready meal in the oven or call for take out. But preparing a simple and healthy family meal doesn’t have to be hard or time-consuming. Here are some quick wholesome dishes that you and your family will love. They can even be prepared in advance.

Better than Poutine

I know, what could be better that a steaming plate of fries, gravy and cheese curd? Fries, gravy, cheese curd and bacon, that’s what! Throw in some fresh shallots, chilli, and a splash of roasted bone marrow and duck gravy, and we turn this popular French-Canadian dish into a something sublime.

Breakfast at my House

During the week we’re often walking out the door with a coffee in one hand and slice of toast in the other, but on weekends breakfast is never rushed. It’s a late affair, sometimes spilling over to lunch, with lots of reading and chatter in between courses of fruits, poached eggs, honey and toast. One of our favorite things we like to serve when friends are visiting are buckwheat blueberry pancakes.

Roasted Pumpkin Soup

There’s nothing better than a warm bowl of pumpkin soup on a cold autumn day. Combine your roasted pumpkin with some onion, garlic, vegetable broth, and a few spices, and give it some time to simmer away. Pair it with a few slices of fresh bread to turn it into something sublime.